Sunday, September 2, 2012

Sasquatch lives – in imaginations

The arrival of Pete Wilson in Billings opens a new branch of an old anthropological discipline: Cryptozoology.
Wilson, a member of Virginia Bigfoot Watch, lost no time when his company transferred him to Montana. His website, Montana Sasquatch Watch, is up and running. Stay tuned for reports of Sasquatch sightings.
As a semi-professional cynic, my best guess is that the Bigfoot’s existence is not improbable. For a variety of reasons, it’s impossible.
With apologies to Noah, a species with a population of fewer than 50 individuals cannot continue to stock a particular patch of woods or mountain range.
If the Sasquatch population totals fewer than half a hundred, then it must have been plentiful sometime in the near past. If someone traveled back a century or so in a time machine, he/she could expect to find a few hundred, or more likely a few thousand, Bigfoots.
Does Sasquatch bury his dead or does it leave bones of the deceased lying around for guys like Wilson to find?
Besides bones, what else does it leave behind? Coprolites? Weighing 900 pounds or so, Bigfoot could no doubt eat a whole aspen copse or a buck mule deer a day. Anything consuming that amount of grub would leave plenty of coprolites behind.
Sasquatch lives – in imaginations - The Billings Outpost

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